Each year
is a collage of images, and feelings. They roll over you with the regularity of
tides, tossing you about in its foam. This has been a year that has both
challenged and rewarded us as a family. Tears of sadness and joy have been shed
in mingled measures, but we have come to year's end stronger and with smiles of
hope.
2017
started with the loss of our friend, Marc. Friend doesn’t cover it. He was
family. We loved him dearly and he left us. It hurt. It still hurts. His
husband Dennis left us five years ago, and our love for Dennis which could
exist also through Marc has simply turned into ache with the both of them
together and not with us. This end of an epoch in our lives has taken a strong
toll and has dominated this year just trying to contextualize it (because the
pain will never lessen, though it is finding its place). It was our son,
Michael, that informed us of Marc’s death, and Michael stepped up as a man and
helped lead all of us who loved Marc so as executor of Marc’s estate. We said
our final goodbye to Marc this summer in Michigan with Michael and Nikki, Haley
and her husband Mike, and our grandson Russell. It was hardest to be there with
Russell, who was saying goodbye to his Godfather whom he loved deeply. Still
the event was marked by the joy of the gathering of new friends and old, and
people we have come to know as family. Stories and smiles were shared over food
and drinks in Marc’s parents’ yard. There is a catharsis in storytelling that
eases grief.
As ever
the world does not stand still simply because you want it to stop. And God
placed a joy in the midst of the grief. Haley’s family came together and spread
their wings for Russell’s graduation from Colorado Springs Christian School.
Our grandson of 18 years, who my wife and I (his GiGi and Bumpa) have watched,
and held, and loved since his birth, was in the blink of an eye a high school
graduate. After graduation Russell got a summer job with the Broadmoor Hotel (5
star) working on the landscape crew out at Seven Falls. I have talked to his
supervisor and took great pride in her report of his strong work ethic and how
readily he made friends with his team. Russell selected Colorado State
University for college and moved up there in August. Last night nearly brought
happy tears as I was texting with Russell and realized that he was wrapping up
his first semester at CSU. Meanwhile, Haley went into extreme mom-mode and
directed her son’s graduation festivities, and spearheaded his college prep
(Target never knew what hit it!). Since August, whenever we talk to Haley,
it is never long before she asks if we have talked to Russell lately because
she hadn’t heard from him in two days. Her husband Mike has been a prince
throughout the year being strength when strength was needed, being comforting
when comforting was called for, and being raw labor for the prodigious to-do
lists that Haley produced in this hectic year. They both seem to be adapting to
the empty-nest well. They go out, have been to concerts (most recently Lady
Gaga), and host gatherings. From this side of the empty nest, I remember far
fewer smiles adjusting to the hollowing of our home. More power to you, Haley
and Mike.
Then
there was Michael (now Michael and Nikki, but I will cover that). No one has
thrown us for a loop this past year like he has. He started the year anchoring
us and others as he guided Marc’s family and estate while we mourned. In the
spring, he and Nikki had us up to their home in Denver along with Haley and
crew, and gave Jean-Marie and I a card. Puzzled we opened it to find an
ultrasound photo and the word “surprise”. We were to be grandparents again! In
time we were to find out the baby would be a grandson. Upon his birth 12
October 2017, he would take the name Bennett Stephen Sampson (the middle name
being shared with myself and Nikki’s dad, an honor that I will not ever be able
to describe or repay). He would be beautiful, and he would steal his GiGi and
Bumpa’s heart from the minute he was born. Not to be outdone by the shock of
the news of a new grandchild, a couple of weeks later Michael and Nikki hit us
with the awe that they were moving in the summer to Charleston and purchasing
Marc’s home. But Michael and Nikki were not done with the surprises yet. At
Russell’s graduation ceremony, Michael sat next to his mom and casually showed
her his left hand that was sporting a handsome new ring. Michael and Nikki had
gotten married quietly in Denver in a civil ceremony so they could start this
new phase in their growing life together as husband and wife. In the span of
four months Michael and Nikki gave us one hell of a roller coaster ride: A new
grandson, YAY! Moving to Charleston OHNO! Having the best daughter-in-law ever,
YAY! Michael and Nikki, we look forward to all the time we can spend with your
family, and ask only to take 2018 a bit easier on us, you have left us
exhausted!
All the
while, our daughter Louise and her husband Jeff have been forging their life in
the mountains of Colorado in the town of Como. As a life lesson to all of us,
they have chosen quality of life over the more material options. The careers
they had were taking a toll on both, and so they made a change to enjoy life
and each other at a slower pace. Louise and Jeff have good jobs with the
county, and live in a lovely cabin that is warm, happy, and eclectic – much
like its owners. Jeff dotes on Louise, and most recently has built her a
meditation hut. His love is more than I could have ever asked for Louise (and
it takes a load off a father and mother’s shoulders). Louise has been cooking,
hiking, and fishing with Jeff, and building her spirituality. She laughs and
loves more freely than I have ever seen her. I envy the choices that Louise and
Jeff have made. As can be seen, the brevity of this paragraph is a wonderful
statement to the simplicity Louise and Jeff have achieved.
All this
and more have flooded, swamped, and elevated Jean-Marie and I this year. We
have made new friends in the wake of losing our dearest one. We have the
wonderful dichotomy of two grandsons 18 years apart in their lives. And have
added to that the symmetry by being named Godparents to our niece Sarah and her
husband Mike’s new arrival William. The symmetry comes in the form of William
being our second Godson. Our first Godson is our nephew Sam, a wonderful young
man, high school senior, football player with a full ride to Western Kentucky,
who is18 years older than William. We cherish our role as Godparents and are
blessed that Sarah and Mike entrusted us with this honor. Jean-Marie and I have
also traveled much this year, to Michigan for Marc’s funeral, to Athens
(Georgia not Greece) for William’s baptism, to Chattanooga to watch Godson
number 1 play football (and to get our eardrums burst by Sam's mom’s
cheerleading), to Memphis to attend the wedding of our nephew Christopher, and
to Charleston to greet and be captivated by our grandson Bennett. We also said
goodbye to our little dog of 17 years, Sailor. Sailor, you were your own man and
a curmudgeon after my own heart. I still feel you walking on me in bed. You
will never be far from our smiles. Through the roiling surf of 2017, Jean-Marie
and I have buoyed, hugged, and loved each other constantly. Jean-Marie and I
have children and their spouses that leave us in awe, a grandson that grows in
strength and character constantly it seems, a new grandson that we cannot
possibly get enough of, and blessings in our sorrows and joys that we thank God
for.
Thank
you, 2017. 2018 we await your tides and have no idea what will wash ashore.
